


Where it Began

by Bxckynat, Meowmers_Dev



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BuckyNat Mini-Bang, F/F, F/M, Red Room (Marvel), winterwidow - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 08:00:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15432558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bxckynat/pseuds/Bxckynat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meowmers_Dev/pseuds/Meowmers_Dev
Summary: Natasha studies James after Avengers 4/defeating Thanos. She recollects on meeting James for the first time, and the moments they spent together in the Red Room before being separated, wondering and hoping he remembers her and the relationship they had.





	Where it Began

 Natasha watched with curiosity, as well as admiration, as James Buchanan Barnes joked around with his long time war friend, Steve Rogers. She watched the way his long, un-brushed hair fell to almost his shoulders as he tilted his head down to laugh at something Steve had said. She wasn’t just watching the way his lips curled up as he smiled, but she did enjoy it. It reminded her of the way he had been, back when they were just young kids in the Red Room. He’d shown her humanity, and kindness, in a place she didn’t think either existed. She remembered how he smiled, just like he was doing now, when they laughed together, and loved in secret, behind the cruel eye of their handlers. Why did she feel this way-she’d always said that love was for children. Was it? Was what they had a childish romance, or was it something more? Did he even remember, her? She knew she remembered him. She remembered everything about him so vividly, that she’d been reflecting on all of it. Where had she last left off in her thoughts?

 

“James...” Natalia scolded him as he climbed into her bedroom window once again. He’d been doing this for about a week now. Crawling into her window past 11pm every night. She’d left it unlocked after the first time, rather enjoying how that night was spent. His company. His warmth. His humanity.

 

But now she was still getting ahead of herself. She thought back to the very first time she met him. After all, it didn’t just *happen* like that. It wasn’t that James had just shown up one night and demanded he be let into her room. That was far from the reality. The reality was something that Natasha thought of everyday. She took herself back to that day in the training room of the Red Room academy. “Students.” Madame had announced, causing all the young girls to look up. “This is your new handler.” She gestured to the tall man who stepped up, towering over all of them. He wore a scowl, arms folded hostilely over his chest. A noticeable silence filled the room. New handlers were never anything good, all of the girls knew this. Still they nodded, and obeyed the orders to listen to everything he instructed them. 

 

Nothing very eventful had happened that day. It was no secret among everyone in the academy that Natalia was one of, if not the highest ranking one out of all of them. She strove to be better than the rest, and it always paid off with deadly results. The new handler had clearly taken note of that, and had begun to train her harder than the others midway through the second day. His eyes were usually dark, or they had been-but when he spoke to her, his voice became softer, and his eyes had more life in them. Natalia was fascinated by it, and couldn’t help but make excuses to talk more, always finding herself drawn to his expressions of pride. 

 

She’d shot every target with extreme precision, unable to help but beam every time she saw that glorious expression of pride and encouragement on his face. It wasn’t just because she was good at her purpose though-it seemed genuine. Caring almost-what was she talking about. Caring wasn’t something they taught her in the Red Room. Manipulation? Sure. She’d learned lots about how to seduce a man into giving her almost anything-and then how to *tie up* those loose ends when she had finished unraveling them. It didn’t seem to mater what they’d taught her in that moment though-he was watching her. Watching her more than any of the other students. 

 

By the third day, as he walked out, after class was dismissed, she stopped him against her better judgement. Quietly checking to see if anyone else was looking, she slipped out of the classroom after him. “Sir?” She stopped him, calling out strongly, but still quietly. He stopped in his tracks, not saying anything for several moments. “James.” He replies finally. “I’m sorry?” Natalia had asked curiously confused. “You can call me James. Not in front of the others, of course.” He mumbled the last part and turned around to face her. She nodded “Well I’m-“ he finished for her “Natalia. I know. I know a lot about you. Including how you came here.” His eyes softened at the last part. 

 

Oh boy. The way she had come to the Red Room hadn’t been....pleasing. She’d been more or less forced there after her parents were killed in a car accident. It wasn’t something she often thought of-it had been normal, hasn’t it? Weren’t things like that normal? She had been taught that they were. She had been taught that she owed them her life for giving her such an opportunity. 

 

 

“I see.” She furrowed her eyebrows a bit. He definitely wasn’t like usual handlers. He had a kindness, and gentleness in his speech, and face, that she hadn’t seen from anyone else. She felt like she could get lost in his eyes-she just didn’t know that he felt the exact same, as he gazed down at her. “You’re quote the skilled agent.” He started, folding his arms again, a lot more relaxed than he had been when he arrived. “But you’re more than that in my eyes, Natalia.” His voice softened, almost pleading and desperate as he said the last part. She inhaled softly, as she considered her response. “James, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say-“ he stopped her. “There’s no right or wrong answer. Just your answer. Your answer-your choice. He seemed insistent that she decided this herself. She swallowed. “Maybe I need to answer that later.” She said softer than the rest of her words, a small bit of sass in her voice, as a light smirk played on her lips. “Wait for me tonight. I’ll be there, Natalia. I’ll be there for both of us.” He whispered, before disappearing down the long hallway, as quick as Winter overcomes fall. 

 

It was then, that she realized The Winter Soldier was more than just a Ghost Story told to agents to scare agents into cooperation.

 

The Winter Soldier was a mask of a man who held something she longed for.

 

The hours passed quickly in the dimly lit halls of the academy. They ate what little food they got in the great dining hall, silently of course, and only those that were progressing in there training. Those that seemed to fall short during the days lessons, were denied any such luxury. Natalia excused herself earlier that night as she walked into her room. She was one of the more special students who got their own room, and were trusted not to escape at night, unlike the other girls who would remain bound to their beds. She shook off the thought of care and sat on her bed, looking out the small, frost covered window. 

 

 She’d almost begun to drift into a light sleep, when she heard the window creek open. In a blurring flash, she had drawn the knife she smuggled from under her pillow, and had it aimed at whoever was trying to get in. James raised an eyebrow slightly, more so amused than annoyed. She kept it aimed for a moment to process it, before putting it down. “You came.” She said simply, more softness in her voice than she ever heard before. His resting smirk played on a smile. “I said I would.” He spoke in a voice that barely broke a whisper, but still almost intimidated Natalia. It wasn’t that she viewed him as a threat-she actually seemed to be viewing him as far less of a threat than anyone in the building, even if he was one of the strongest matches to her in combat. She found herself intimidated by the fact that someone like him was betting so much on her. She found herself enjoying his company.

 

She wasn’t sure that either of them knew how it all happened. They’d just sat on her bed for a long time, with silence between them. They exchanged looks, but they weren’t studying each other for weaknesses like most people would to their target-they were studying the humanity in their eyes, the last of it that the Red Room hasn’t washed away. It was a long while before James finally broke the silence, moving back to the window and crawling out, perched right outside with a hand outstretched toward her. 

 

“James?” She asked curiously, moving toward the window. “Forget this place for the night Natalia. Just come out here with me. It’s just us here.” He lowered his voice even more, a hopeful expression in the tint of his eyes. She looked at him for a moment, weighing her options, but found she brushed all logic aside as she took his hand, and climbed out onto the roof with him. She audibly gasped as she looked up at the stars, and the way they made the freshly fallen snow glisten. James just seemed to watch her as she smiled like a girl again, and not like the killer they were raising her to be. She leaned back against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest as she watched the beauty of the night sky.

 

He didn’t do anything for several moments, before he moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her for warmth. After all, they *were* still in the middle of Russia, and Natalia was simply in her nightgown. Surprisingly, she found she didn’t stiffen, or pull away at his touch. She found herself leaning into him, relaxing at his warm touch. He smiled at her, looking up at the stars. “No matter what happens after tonight Natalia-will you promise to remember something?” He asked in a whisper, his breath creating a cloud in the cold air. She nodded “Anything, James.” Her eyes never broke the view of the stars, although her heart was listening to him with every beat. “Remember that we’ll always have the stars.” He whispered, as she leaned closer to him.


End file.
